the hardest thing
by Minerva's Gryffindor
Summary: HEY, first fanfic. please be kind.Jenny's POV when she sees Jethro and Hollis in the bullpen.tiny hint of past JIBBS
1. Jenny's pov

The hardest thing

I walk out of MTAC, by head bent low so they can't' see the tears welling up in my eyes. He's alone with her, kissing her in the same way he used to kiss me, laughing with her, the same way he used to laugh with me. There's nothing I can do now, he's moved on. I walk towards my office and lock the door behind me, his name rolling off her tongue echoing in my ears.

"Jethro."

-- -- --

I look at the clock hanging on the far wall in my office. Two hours have passed since I saw her kissing Jethro. I know I shouldn't feel jealous; after all I was the one who left him all those years ago. A soft knock at my door makes me stand up slowly, unlocking it before turning my back to the man who's been in my thoughts for the past few days.

"You pulling an all nighter Jen?" He asks me innocently. I turn around and stare into those blue eyes and find myself getting lost in them. He walks towards me and it takes every ounce of self control not to run my finger through his hair. He looks at me with concern and I shake my head slowly to get rid of the fantasies running around.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." I reply walking over to my desk and sitting down, pulling the next batch of reports towards me. I can feel his penetrating gaze on me, but I can't look up because I know if I do, our friendship could be other. I hear his footsteps grow heavier, and I can feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and I shudder. I can tell he's trying to see if I am actually working, however if he stays there for much longer, I won't be responsible for my actions.

"What are you doing Gibbs? Shouldn't you be with Colonel Mann?" She hide the venom in her voice expertly. He sighed and walked towards the door, watching her return to the reports.

"Yeah, night Director." He closes the door softly and I try to remember the last time he didn't slam the door shut. I come up short and smile slightly. * It's a record*

After a few more minutes of back breaking labour aka filling in reports, I decide to call it a night and gather my things before walking out onto the catwalk. As I lock the office door, I catch a glimpse of blonde and grey walking into the elevator and against my better judgment, decide to walk slowly down the stairs. I know that Jethro has spotted me, but I surprise them both my walking to one of the many other elevators, hoping that he won't ask me about it earlier. As I step into the elevator, I realize for the first time in 10 years that the hardest thing I have ever done was walking out on him. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was let him go.

_The hardest thing to do, is watch the one you love, love someone else._


	2. Jethro's pov

_Sorry it's late folks. I wrote it and then my computer completely screwed up and deleted the file so I've had to write this from scratch. DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY!! Dedicated to GibbsRules who gave me my first review. Thanks for all the help, support and encouragement. _

Jethro's POV

Hollis and I are standing in the middle of the bull pen, just talking about each other day. I'm not really in the mood to go out for dinner with her after the day I've had but I'm not sure how to get out of it without hurting her feelings. She laughs loudly and I pretend to know what she's laughing about just to spare her feelings. The doors to Mtac open and Jenny walks out, looking as gorgeous as ever. Hollis follows my eyes and she frowns before planting her mouth onto mine, in a possessive kiss. I pull back and smile slightly and she whispers my name in a seductive way but as soon as she turns around, my eyes wonder up to where Jenny stood moments before. Of course she's gone and I don't blame her. As much as I would love to run up there and apologize for putting her in that awkward position, Hollis is eager to get going. As always I follow without saying a word.

-- -- --

It's been two hours and I walk into the bull pen, smiling slightly. As soon as Hollis fell asleep I snuck out and came here. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake Hollis up so I decided to try and get some work done. But as I walk into the bullpen, all thoughts of getting any work done leave my mind when I realize that Jenny is still working. I walk towards her office and was about to walk in when I stopped. I don't want to startle her if she is asleep so I decide to knock. When Jenny opens the door, im pretty sure she thought I was someone else because I never knock. She steps aside to let me in and I watch as she walks to the window.

"Pulling an all nighter Jen?" I ask trying to lighten the mood slightly. It fails miserably and I watch her shake her head slowly. I frown and step forward, worried that something's wrong.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." She says a little too quickly for my liking. Her right eye twitches, and I know straight away that something's wrong, but if she doesn't want to tell me then I can't make her. Unless there's plenty of bourbon available. I walk around to stand behind her. I push her hair away from her neck and watch her attempt to finish the reports in front of her. I smirk when she shudders as my breath tickled the back of her neck. I'm tempted to place a soft kiss on the soft kiss just to see if there's anything left between us. I still love her, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way.

"What are you doing Gibbs? Shouldn't you be with Colonel Mann?" She asks, ice dripping off her tongue. I stand up slowly and bit my lip to stop a defeated sigh from escaping. She has a point, I should be with Hollis but I don't want to. I want to stay with Jenny. I walk towards the door and watch her continue writing for a few minutes.

"Yeah, Night Director." All hopes of us rekindling our past relationship our dashed as I close the door slightly. I groan softly when I see Hollis waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. Can't she leave me alone for just a few hours?! I walk towards her and she slips her hand in to mine. We walk towards the elevator and I jab the button, waiting impatiently for the doors to open. I let go off Hollis' hand and out of the corner of my eye, I see Jenny walking towards one of the many elevators towards the end of the corridor. Our eyes meet for a brief moment before Hollis tugs me into the elevator.

"Im sorry Jen." I whisper to myself, trying to ease some of the guilt in my heart.

The doors close slowly and I lean against the wall. I realize suddenly that the only reason that I'm still with Hollis is because she reminds me off Jenny. They share the same goals, share the same principles. But I will always love Jen more than I could ever love Hollis.

I've often been told that my past relationships were just desperate attempts to get over Shannon, but they're wrong, they were desperate attempts to get over Jenny.

_I self-destruct every relationship after you left so that I don't get hurt...but in truth I just hurt myself more in the long run. _


End file.
